It has been quite a while since i created this blog. Not a whole lot has changed other than my
mindset. Weight wise I’m probably up
about 15 pounds. Academia has been pretty much hell the last two years. I went
from being a b+ student to having major difficulties concentrating. I have since taken some time away from school
and am very excited to return. I used to love school! I miss the love of
learning and the honour roll grades. I'm hoping to re-kindle that fire :) It still bothers me that i am 28 and have
basically done nothing other than go to school. Jobs have been pretty scares...
and not for lack of trying... That said, I’m optimistic about my future and
looking forward to actually enjoying the journey rather than wishing i was at
the end point. Some time off shifted my
thoughts from: "if i can't get through this degree I’ll never find a job
and life will be horrible" to "I want to do well because I’m in the
right field. I know finding a job with
my disability will be difficult, but a, I’m up for the challenge, b, the work
excites me, and c, the world will not end if this doesn't happen right
away."
I also feel a lot more content about whom I am and the
relationships i have. While i never really wanted to be the life of the party,
i often felt that most people fit in better and had more friends. As i grew up i constantly wanted to blend in
and belong. I wanted to be friends with everyone. I'm the kind of person who doesn't quite know
what to say at first. I finally feel really great about my social circle. I
have enough friends that if i want to be social once or twice a week, i can.
The last couple years have not been the easiest or the funniest. If my friends
can put up with me at what i feel was my worst, they can certainly put up with
me any other time! I'm so blessed. I
really cherish each one of them. They say that if you have a handful of true
friends in a life time you're lucky. I can honestly say that many right now.
Basically at this point in my life i think I’m ready to take
everything i learned, and all the mistakes i made and basically put them in a
filing cabinet. They are still there if i need to refer to them, but they are
in the past. I feel like i have a fresh attitude
This blog used to be called road of improvement. I changed
that name deliberately. Of course we all want to improve. I definitely want to
lose weight and wish i already had a great career / job, but i am noticing that
people are happiest when they are comfortable in their own skin. I'm done searching. I'm done thinking that i
need to transform my life and myself. I'm hoping this attitude stays! I'm surrounded
by people five years younger than me with great careers. I always feel like i
have to justify that I’ve basically been doing school part time for ever. I'm pretty determined that it won't affect my
enjoying the journey this time around though!
Now here's the weird part. Now that I’m more at ease with
where i am in my life, i actually feel energized to go after my goals. I'm
excited for school and in some odd way I’m kind of looking forward to getting
new gym membership (how weird is that??? I hate working out! LOL). I'm going to
go into Septembers goals in tomorrow's post. I will say though that i plan on blogging on daily in september.
If you've actually read this, please comment!!!! If you have a weight loss / other type of blog, i'd love to subscribe.
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